No Denial

Not sure where to start after about a month and a half of silence. I won't deny that I have been out of the loop in many ways for various reasons. While I'm driving during the day, so much is on my mind and some of it takes me on a journey of wonderment. 

I look at the positives that are in my life but the things that go wrong, often overshadow any good that surfaces. I won't crawl into a shell and become nonexistent or downtrodden, but I do have a tendency to get quiet.

Many of you know that I lost my oldest brother to prostate cancer a couple of years ago. My second oldest brother lost his battle in the same way this past February. I think about my mom and how hard this must be for her losing her two oldest in this way. I have been remembering things my brother Ray (recently past) had talked to me about over the years. One thing comes to mind that we both wished we could have done, but the funds just wasn't there. I think I was about 17 maybe 18 years old and he said that the price of gasoline was going to rise drastically in the future. At that time, it was unheard of. We were enjoying gas prices well under a dollar per gallon, cigarettes were also less that a dollar a pack. He said that if I could, to put money into oil stock...that was good advice I didn't or couldn't follow up on.

Even though I didn't talk to my brothers on a regular basis while they were here, I do miss them.

There have been other issues that have taken their toll on my mind and I do feel drained emotionally.

Attempts at getting back to a regular routine has proven to be difficult for me, but it will happen. I look to God for strength and endurance....I can't do it without Him. 

Here's to moving on and hanging tough.