Sunday, February 27, 2011

I Have Traveled Far

I have traveled far to this
This place that is filled with
The Stench, 
Of what the Thing has done

Throughout time and space
For all that we know
Not caring what 
Results of its deeds

I try to escape the path
So many before had not 
Don't know how long it'll last
This luck that holds me
Thus far

I duck and I dodge 
I run here and there
I fire and miss
But sometimes I hit

It is only one Beast
A fierce one for sure
With a hunger for 
Life, to fuel its own

Need, to survive in this 
Place, this place far 
Away, that is filled
With the stench of Death

Image courtesy of Google Images

Saturday, February 26, 2011


Saturday morning and I'm up getting ready for work. It's a bit chilly this morning so I turned the heat on the knock the chill off...going to be about 30 degrees cooler today than yesterday. 

Everyone is snug in bed except me and Reg...he'll be going to bed soon I'm sure. I'm having my one cup of coffee as I sit here. It's quiet and peaceful. 

For those of you who don't read my daughter's blog, I'll have to do an update on what's going on with the kids...I have some catching up to do over there myself.

I'm trying to get a handle on some of the things I was doing on my blog...whew!!

Well...gotta go....thanks for stopping by.

Can't wait to get home so I can enjoy my time off. 

One more thing....if I happen to come across your mind at some point...say a prayer for me...thanks  :-)

Friday, February 25, 2011

Moving On

I've been sitting here for awhile now with a lot in my head but nothing on the screen. Trying to figure out where to begin. 

I looked back over a few of my posts for the past month (which isn't much) and came across one I had mentioned about posting my poems on a separate page...not gonna happen.

What I had noticed on other blogs was labels/tags on the main page. That will have to do for me also. I will have to go through all my posts and add "poems" as a label so it will be easier for anyone who would like to just read them.

I know everyone doesn't like poetry, but it has become a major part of my blog, my life. I almost "see" poetry in everything...especially life, nature. I want to keep my poetry upbeat, which is why it has been hard to come up with fresh writes...until last night. This was my first poem that I had written fresh since before my brother's it has been over a month.

Away from poetry, I hadn't posted anything since the 10th of this month. 

I do still intend on making some changes...nothing dramatic, just some things to keep things fun and interesting. I do like the idea of short stories...although I know that will be a challenge...but a welcome one.  

I want to get back into reading other blogs...which I have done but not as much.

It takes awhile to get back to "normal" and I know I'm being impatient, and I am being hard on day at a day at a time....

Thursday, February 24, 2011

What Life Does

I have won the Perfect Poet Award for week 38 from Thursday Poetry Rally  and I most graciously accept this award. Thank you Jingle for the award and to Leo and Kavita and to all who voted for me.

My nomination goes to Dennis Go.

Here is my acceptance poem.

What Life Does

Life is a teacher
Life is a friend
The sun that warms
The moon, reflecting it's light

Dishing out the unknown
Forming choices to receive 
That is not our choosing
Option only to handle it

Life is our mentor
Life is our judge
Life is our baggage
The bags are heavy laden

Thrust us, ourselves
Into this space
This time
That is life

Stand firm 
Yes it hurts
Sway not
Sure it stings

It's mark is deep
And felt for years
Wear it well
Wear it proud

Shed the tears
For this is cleansing
Refresh the mind
Restore the body

Make ready 
For life awaits
It's next move
Is at the door

So love this life
In all it has
The good, the bad
The pain, it's joy

Life is never our enemy
Never our foe
It is not always fair
But always honest

So many things
Life is
But all in all
Life is

Our teacher, Our friend
Here for the learning
To strengthen us 
To make us

That's What Life Does

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

i am

i am here
i am there
i am everywhere

i am not seen
but you see me 
the effects i create

it does not matter the season
it does not matter the year
it does not matter at all

i make you happy
i make you sad
i cause you to gasp

waters, be still
waters, be still not

you know me, what i am
you know me, what i do
you cannot do without me

i am a friend to you
i am a problem

i am at peace
i am vicious

times i am gentle
times i am blusterous
times i am not

still you cannot do without me
love me, hate me
i will never leave

Monday, February 21, 2011

You Deserve

You are life and you deserve
The best and so preserve
Because this world is full
Of things to destroy, no bull

You are life, full of fire
Seek what you wish and desire
Never say never, for you never know
In this world how things will go

You are life all is not lost
Strive to survive at all cost
Funnel your anger into useful ploy
You will find so much to enjoy

Life has, a learning curve
In this world, get all you deserve

This is my Poetry Potluck entry

Thursday, February 17, 2011

We Meet Again

There you are, here I am
Here I am, there you are
We have waited all day 
For this moment to arrive

It seems we were worlds apart 
Until time passed
And the day drew to a close

Once again we meet
It is a joyous occasion to be here
In your presence once again

I enjoy the rhythm of this meeting
It's slow and easy. Yes, slow and easy
You know sometimes it gets rough

I am happy that it is clear
To see your splendor
To see your beauty

And I cherish the warmth
You give to me once again
Tenderly touching me

We must enjoy what time is left
Soak it all in, hoping it will last
But alas, this will come to an end

Until we meet again
For I am the sunset
And I am the sea 

My entry to Thursday Poets Rally 

Thursday, February 10, 2011

On The Bright Side

Positive thinking is a good thing to do. It has many benefits that outweigh the feeling of failure should things go south against what you would expect...or at least hoped for. 

It gives the mind something extra to work on that promotes a focus on not being despondent, or fall into a depressed state, anxiety, remorse, let's not forget anger....and the list goes on...get my point? 

A bit of a kick is exactly what is needed for me to keep from becoming a basket case in my own mind. Sure, I'm dealing with a lot right now, but I'm aware that I will have my moments as time continues, and I also know that I need to be me for me. 

I have to fight for me, I am in a battle I can't afford to lose. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I want to run from the emotional feeling that comes with the loss of a loved one. I am fully aware and willing to let these emotions surface in order for me to deal with my brother's absence...that's part of life, as painful as it is. 

I do feel overwhelmed right now. I feel as if I'm being pulled in directions that are waiting to be found. There are other issues that I am currently facing on top of what I already have going on. All the more reason to fight the fight. 

I will mourn and I will heal. I will fight because I am worth fighting for. This is about's about my journey. I have goals to reach, I have goals I won't reach but I will have at least made an attempt. I have ideas waiting to be dreamed up and ideas waiting to become reality. 

There will be things, events, people and whatever else may come my way to help or hinder this process. It will be up to me to decipher these and to utilize or throw out what is useful or that which is trash.

It really sounds easy doesn't it?...except for one thing. I truly and honestly believe that in my mind, this can be done easily if it wasn't for the emotional factor. Bring emotions into the picture and it get's ugly at times. I'm ready for that too.... 

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I Understand

I was thinking today how different I am than I was three weeks ago, two weeks ago, last week.

I, for the past 2 days have been hit with continued mourning...out of nowhere. I had spoken with LaGear, Jr. yesterday evening for a little while. About an hour later I'm in the shower and I'm overcome with emotion...I let it fly. Same goes a few hours ago...I'm shaving. 

For the first time in my life, I truly understand. I understand what countless other's around the world have gone through. Yes, I have had family members move on...uncles and aunts and even member's from TheWife's side...even my dad. 

I mourned for them all, but this one is different. There are times when I'm able to think about my brother without being emotional. It'll be two weeks tomorrow...only 2 weeks.

When my dad passed on, I remember what I went through as I mourned the loss of his presence; it's not the same as with my brother's.

I knew I was close to my brother, but until now I didn't realize how much. Looking back, I can remember looking up to all of my older brothers...but you know how it is when you look up to your oldest brother. Growing up, as a young kid with no real father figure to look up to, I turned to my siblings...and of course my mom. 

Even though we may not talk for moments at a time, what we have created in memories has given us a bond that is stronger than most. We were always looking out for one another...that came from my mom. What I saw in my brothers and my sister's handling of family bond was transfered from me to our youngest brother...another story.

So all of that said, I feel as if a part of me is gone. Knowing I can't talk to him or touch him, laugh with him. 

Now I understand.   

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Tid Bits

I've been away from here for what seems like forever. I know it hasn't been that long, it just feels like it. My brother's passing is one reason. The other is due to...

...being without a keyboard for the past 5 days. It's not the first time I have not had a keyboard to use because one has gone bad on me. It really sucks.

Darcel was showing me something on her computer and I knocked over a cup of apple juice...mostly onto the keyboard. Since it was my fault, I gave her mine. I did an external cleaning and draining; removing the keys and cleaning underneath the keys in slim hopes this would salvage a sticky situation.  

After that was done, there were only about five keys that didn't work...this is into day 2. So now I decide to take the keyboard apart and do some deep 3, it's all back together and now even more keys are not working.

What? pictures??!!!

Yeah, I know...I didn't think about it until I was done.

So now it's time for a new board. I used the on screen keyboard but that was slow and tedious. It was ok for logging into sites, but using it for writing was definitely out of the question. 

I was really beginning to miss writing. I have had a lot of thoughts going on inside my head, but it does feel different now... 

One thing I am doing is updating my blog with a couple of new pages. I'm going to have my poems on a separate page and do an about me page. I think I'm going to add a short stories page also.

I think about my brother. I miss his presence. I read this poem to remind me that love really does help to bring that calm, that peace...and comfort. My brother's death was really hard on my mom. I'm sure she wasn't expecting to lose one of her children, as do many parents. I talked to my mom a few times since, but Thursday night when we talked, I apologized to her. I was hard on her when I got the news because he was so far into the illness. I didn't realize how much stress she was under. When I think of my mom, I think of the strong woman I have always known....not thinking of how it was for her to watch all of this unfold. We had a good time talking. Actually, I was doing most of the talking. It was good to hear her laugh.

I haven't been in much of a poetic mood lately and I hope that goes away sooner than later. I have a few poems in draft that I could post, and I will over time. In a way I feel numb when I think of writing poetry. That luster, the zeal seems to be gone. We'll see how long it takes to return. I really want that back.

I'm looking forward to a lot of good to be coming into our lives. Work hard while we wait...and expect...I'm confident.

So the journey memories created and the unexpected awaits. 

Live life and love's the only one we have. Learn from the past, enjoy the present, and look forward to the future.


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