Friday, December 31, 2010

Year End 2010

Another year is about to come to an end. So much has transpired this past year and some things will carry over into the new year.

The birth of my grandson...that was special.

I created and designed The Bottomless Heart, a project that will carry over into the new year.

My wife and my son have moved here to be with us...and they brought a foot of snow with them.

I really don't want to do a year in review...just wanted to mention a few highlights.

I would like to thank all of you for taking the time to stop by and read. Sure I could write without having one post read by anyone other than me, but you make it special.

Thank you so much

I'm looking for good things to happen in 2011...I hope you come along for the journey. 

I will be working more on my website, watching my grandchildren grow, starting new projects and fixing broke stuff.

So in the coming year, my question to you is...

Wishing all of you a safe and Happy New Year

I've Slept On It

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Now that I've had time to sleep on the news from yesterday, I find myself fighting the flow of tears that wish to flow from my eyes.

I know it will be more than difficult for me to work through this today...even more than it was yesterday.

When I get home I will make at least one call...this call to ask why.

Why wasn't I informed long ago about this. 

I want and need answers to ease the pain I'm feeling from not knowing sooner.

I know answers will not decrease the pain in my heart, but I need to know.

I move on to the next stage, now that I've slept on it.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Mixed Bag

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I'm dealing with a mixed bag of emotions right now. 

I'm hurt, angry, sad, frustrated, and probably more that I can't name. 

I don't want to go into details right now but I received a phone call earlier today which caused me much grief. 

Out of respect for my family, I have chosen for the time being to keep things under wrap. But that doesn't stop me from venting. I'm trying to figure out why I wasn't told about, the severity of this sooner. 

So here I am with my emotions and thoughts bouncing all over the place...

...stuck with a mixed bag.  

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

it has me too

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if i wander too far
will i find my way back?
what awaits around  the bend
will i be afraid to venture?
or excited to see

the obstructions that tend to slow me down
how will i find the proper way to handle
will it come easy
or do i search endlessly

the rules of the game are
there are no rules
doesn't seem fair
life has the advantage

that means i have to work harder
work through the obstructions
it's ok to be afraid
just make sure i move forward

i will search and i will find 
life has the advantage 
and it has me too

Monday, December 27, 2010

An Extra Day

Because of the snow that fell yesterday, there was no work. I didn't do much of anything today. It was a good lazy day for me. I can really wait to see what it will be like tomorrow. The roads will be frozen and the people here are not used to these conditions. 

This is my second winter here and this tops last years snowfall hands down. 

Still I'm remembering the words of many who live here...we don't get a lot of snow here. 

I really hope they're right...don't get me wrong...I like snow, but not this much in an area that is not used to it. 

A warm up is on the way which should take care a lot if not all of the snow.

On a very bright side note, this could be last weekend.

Yeah...I'm smiling

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Yeah, We Have Snow...

Boy did we ever get snow. As of right now, I think they say our area will get about 11 inches. 

Everything has shut down or not open at all. Some stores are open. Charles ventured out to pick up a few things.  
Charles coming in after taking pictures

 This is a good day to stay inside and chill.

We have a lot of snow

So chill it is...

This was actually taken yesterday. Darcel and a hula hoop.

The rest are today's chillin shots.

kiah, ava and uncle r with the wii. the girls have the pillows they got for Christmas

charles and samuel in the living room

darcel getting ready to cook dinner

and here we have mamaw taking a moment for the camera

Darcel got a new camera for Christmas and I'm sure she will be more than happy to get some good pictures for me. These were taken with my Sprint phone...not too shabby. 

That's what we're doing right now. I hope you are having as much a peaceful day as we are...this day after Christmas.

Friday, December 24, 2010

The Rest of The Story

I hadn't read my daughter's post before starting mine today. She did tell me this morning that she was going to do hers and I told her I started mine last night but didn't finish. 

I read hers a few minutes ago and it was refreshing to see her side of the story.

And even more see the similarities. 

See for yourself.

Darcel is is A Christmas Miracle.

Merry Christmas to you and your families.

It's Priceless

I'm not sure where to begin...I've started this thing four times already. 

The drive...the friends...the aches and pains...or the need for more sleep.

Well, Reg and I got the majority of the truck loaded Saturday night. There were just the last minute items that seemed to take forever to finish on Sunday.

Sunday morning we all head off to church. New Life Worship Center.  It had been...oh gosh...I believe at least five years since we were all there together.  

It was as if we had never left.

There were some people in the church who knew we were coming that morning and we figured the word had gotten out, but to our surprise, the ones who knew must have kept it to themselves. The look on the faces as we walked in were priceless...really priceless. As we began to find a place to sit, we were greeted with handshakes and hugs. 

As I sat in the pew, listening to the singing, memories began to flood my mind with the moments I had enjoyed when we attended...the worship, the fellowship...that too is priceless.

 It still has that at home feel to it. It was really nice to catch up with what's going on in the lives of those you haven't seen in years. They were having their Christmas program and a dinner afterward.

The girls had a ball playing with the other kids. I couldn't believe how those kids I remember had all grown up. Sure I've seen pictures on Facebook, but it's not the same as up close and personal. Unforgettable moments.

After we had finished saying our goodbyes and all, it was time to head back to the apartment to finish packing the loose ends. Darcel went back out to get her last minute visits in. 

By now, it's later than we had planned to leave, but we are ready for Clarice and Reg to leave Dayton to begin a new life in Virginia Beach. We made good time while the kids were asleep, but once they began to wake, we lost all of that time. That was to be expected, but still very tiring.

I was supposed to return to work on Tuesday, but due to the later time of arrival, we had to put off unloading the truck I had called off work. I knew I had put my fellow workers in a bind, but I really had no choice because the truck had to be returned on Wednesday. 

Again, it was Reg and I who unloaded the truck. I was beat was Reg, but we kept on going. While we were unloading the truck, I had stopped to check a load of clothes in the's second time around and the clothes were still damp. I knew something wasn't right so I had to take the time to see what the problem was. 

The lint trap was clogged beyond the filter. I wanted to take the cover off to remove the excess lint, but it had tamper resistant screws which I had no tool for. So I get a hanger and a flashlight to remove the lint...piece by piece. I wanted to use the vac, but the attachment was too big to fit into the opening. I had some tubing in my room and I cut a section and fit it into the wand attachment and taped it so I could suction what I could. It was a very slow process but it worked...all the while, Reg is still unloading what he can without me. 

I get it to the point where the dryer is working much better, but I know I will need to go deeper into the cleaning process of the vent hose. A project for later.

I honestly don't know how we managed to stay on our feet through it all. 

The truck was returned late Tuesday night. 

I returned to work on Wednesday dog tired. I was literally exhausted while working but I pushed through. I get home from work and after awhile, I realize I HAVE to lay down. I woke up around 7:30 or so and went back to sleep. I wake again, it's almost 10:00, so I decide to just go to bed for the night. 

I didn't start feeling rested until yesterday. 

Now I turn your attention to what it's like with Clarice and Reg here. Surprisingly, the atmosphere is upbeat.  Again, it's as if we haven't skipped a beat. Clarice and Reg are getting to know the kids and vise versa. Clarice is MaMaw to the girls and Reg is uncle R. Samuel while were in Dayton had issues with Clarice at first, but that changed towards the end. Clarice told me that Nakiah said MaMaw was gone for a long time. Nakiah was 3 years old when they last saw each other.

What I like about all of this?...even though Clarice and I are not the couple we once were, we are all still family and this household feels that...again...priceless.

Once Charles and Darcel get their own place, it will be different without the kids. I'm so used to them being here all the time...but they will be near.

Is this just what the doctor ordered? I'm not sure, but I do know... 

Having everyone here guessed it...priceless.    

Sunday, December 19, 2010

It's Sunday

The truck is loaded (hopefully) and we should be making the trek back to VA.

But before that happens we have a few stops that might take promises. 

It's going to be a long ride back and the truck needs to be unloaded because my time will be running out...I have to be back to work on Tuesday.

I would love to have time to unwind from this trip...we'll see.

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Saturday, December 18, 2010

Where Am I?

I'm still in VA writing this post as I have scheduled my last due to uncertainty about internet once I landed.

Yeah I know...if I only had a laptop.....shaaaaduuuup....but you're right. 

Today should be loading the truck day. This shouldn't take's the cold that will be the most trouble. 

I should have time for visits.

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Friday, December 17, 2010

On The Road

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I'm probably a few hours into the trip by the time you read this. 

I'm hope to have updates at least on Twitter about the travel conditions. 
Be Safe...

...and I hope you have a good Friday.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Counting Down

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I'm coming into the final 4 days of my 30 day blog challenge. 
As I said earlier, it doesn't seem like a challenge anymore. 

I originally thought this was going to be difficult, but it has proven to be rather refreshing. 

Sure there were a few times when I felt as if I was coming up short, but it's like I said before, I have trouble opening up at times...then I had a's only what I choose to make available.

That's not the real issue though. 

I like to express myself in different ways. I like to incorporate my own style in what I do, as do so many others. I guess the trouble is figuring out how I want to present my thought. 

Just when I think I've
Copyright 2010

Things happen to make a change. Sometimes change is good even if it takes me out of my comfort zone. 

Surely I would have learned something along the way....isn't that's what life is all about? 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I Made The Call

So I make the call after my post last night and I do small talk, checking to see if the packing is almost done and getting things finalized.

So now I want to see where she is as far as the two of us goes...I mean we will be in close proximities. I was really surprised by her answer.
She said she wanted to keep things as is. So no getting back together of any kind.   

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Our living conditions will be split among us and our lives also. The move basically changes nothing for me as per my status. We will take care of some things we need to do first and then proceed with the divorce.There's no hurry, I'll let her settle in with the grandkids and find a job. I'm hoping for some bonding in a different way between the four of, the wife, Darcel and's been awhile. 

So there will be a lot of catching up.

Me? I am assured of where I am in my life right now. 

Our grandchildren will see the both of us and we will grow and learn with them. 

It will be nice. 

I bet you can't wait to see pictures...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

You're Kidding Me, Right?

I know it's too early, but I'm sitting here about ready to call it a night and you know how they do the weather bytes...well we've got snow on the way. A twelve hour trip is turning into an even longer one.

I was hoping that we would at least have a stretch of dry pavement. It doesn't look like that's going to happen. 

At least I know ahead of time and not going to be blindsided. 

Gotta go now, I have a phone call to make.  

Move In Special

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I could do this if it has cable and internet.

Monday, December 13, 2010

There Was A Time

It snowed today but not nearly as much as some other areas. I like snow and all, but I do have my limits. No, we didn't get this much.

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This is a bit much for me. . There was a time when this much snow used to be fun, but I wasn't driving in it. 

I was too busy playing in it without my gloves on.

But that was soooo much fun. The carefree days of snow. 

Walking to school when the snow was up to our knees. Mom would make sure we were bundled up pretty good. Thinking back, I did have gloves to where to school, I didn't play in them. Now I remember why I didn't where the gloves to play in...they always got soaked. That didn't make for a good combination.

OK....enough of the gloves already.

I was wondering today what it's going to be like (snow) when we get to Dayton.  

I'll have a chance to see some old friends and do some catching up. That'll be nice.

I plan to make the most out of this trip, but for now... 

I'm about out of gas....

Sunday, December 12, 2010

A Peaceful Calm

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With the change that is quickly rushing into my life, I find myself at peace, a calm. 

The only thing I'm dreading is the physical part of the move. I'm liking that less these days...must be an age thing.

I have been in touch with the wife and things are heading in this direction as planned. 

I think it is time for me to start a dialog with the wife. I believe it is important that we know what is going on concerning this move, because this is more than just a move; I'm aware of that and that may be why I'm at ease....not really sure.

Thus I deem it necessary to at least bring the subject into the air. We will have time to talk before I get there, and on the ride home. 

I will admit that I have short moments when I feel like this...
Copyright 2010
But they pass...that's just nervousness...and understandably so. We will not have been this close together in almost three years.

I have a lot of emotions and questions coming at me.
Copyright 2010

I find my self dropping a lot of scenarios into many of the questions, and coming up with as many answers, if not more.

But still, I feel no pressure. 

We'll see what happens in the coming days...I'll keep you posted.    

Saturday, December 11, 2010

That's Different


Friday, December 10, 2010


I have a routine I do when I come home from work.

Once I get into my room, I unload my pockets of keys, pen, lip's like clock work...never fails.

Except for every now and again.

This morning was that time. I'm ready to go and it was cold so I want to get an early start and get the van warmed up. I have everything in my pockets, so after collecting other things, I proceed to the door and reach into my pocket for the keys--and--they're--not--there.

I don't panic because I don't lose my keys. I hardly ever misplace them. So I go back to my room thinking maybe when I grabbed everything else, I just overlooked them.


Now I'm in the keys.

I'm back in my room, now looking in the pants I had on yesterday...still no keys.


Sort of...kinda...because now I have no idea where they are.

I circle back downstairs for another search with no new results...ok, now I look in the van, I know it's locked but hopefully without the keys...they're not in there.

I take a break and stand still to breath, and think. 

Last ditch effort, I go back to my room and search other clothing I had on yesterday. I lift the sweatshirt I had on, and crumbled it in my hands trying to feel the keys with no success.

I drop the sweatshirt on the floor and....clunk. ????  I pick it up and lo and behold they are in the front pocket. i was wondering why I couldn't feel them. If I hadn't drop that shirt on the floor, I would have missed it.

But most importantly, I found the keys in an unfamiliar piece of clothing. I'm really particular about certain things and my keys are one of them. If they're not in my hands, they are in my pockets. I don't like laying my keys down, even in familiar settings. 

So lesson learned here is to stick to the works for me... because I hate asking this question....
Copyright 2010

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Stranger Things Have Happened

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There's a move that is about to happen. I knew of this move for some time now. 

The move is happening in less than two weeks. 

I had posted back on the 17th of August about my separation from my wife. 

I knew she wanted to be close to the grandkids and she had made plans to make the move whenever possible. Well, it's happening in a little over a week. 

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So the wife and my son are moving to Virginia Beach. 

The strange part is that the original plan was for the wife and son to get there own place. Now all of that has changed. Now, Charles and Darcel will be getting there own place and the wife and son will be moving in with me. 

This is where it get's interesting. Ever since we knew the move was on we had been talking and getting things rolling. But we didn't know until 2 days ago that they would be moving in with me.

I'm ok with the move, it's just gonna be kinda weird, neither one of us has brought up reconciliation and this is a three bedroom. I think that was the one thing that was me.

Yes, I am wondering if this is the time for talk. Is it something I can avoid if I so choose. Being in close quarters it's bound to happen...don't you think?

Stranger things have happened.

My Heart is telling me this can be fixed.

Do I believe in my own Heart?

Stranger things have happened....


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