New Home

To my faithful followers and readers, I have decided to move my blog to Wordpress. I believe this move will help me in my future endeavors in allowing me to focus on improvements in time management, my social network, blogging and my business.

I am a one man show and I do at times find it difficult managing my time. This is a work in progress and I hope you will continue in following my journey.

Please visit and follow me at WhatrUWorkinOn.com 

Circumstances

Sometimes we have to make adjustments that require us to deviate from our normal scheme of things due to unforeseen circumstances. How we handle those situations define, to a point the character that make up our being. 

Defining moments have a tendency to strengthen our character...or they can make us weak. Who we are at this moment in time, could derive from the lessons taught by others and the lessons learned from life. 

Attempts to get through it all by way of deception is of no benefit to the deceiver as much as they may think it is. They learn no true values of life and reap the hand they play. For the recipient of the deceptions, much is learned and they in turn grow wiser.

Good sound wisdom passed on, generates a fire that burns deep into the minds that seek knowledge for the betterment in life.

Circumstances are a necessity that is required for growth, and growth is necessary in life. 

  

Valentines Day

Valentines Day is next month and will be here before you know it. If you haven't noticed the link to my CafePress store is gone from my sidebar and that is because I have closed it. 

I'm focusing my efforts now into my Etsy Shop which is now open. I currently have three items and working on another as of this moment but stopped so I could get this message out. I will do my best to keep you updated when new items are added. I will add a link to my Etsy Shop on the sidebar soon.

As mentioned earlier, Valentines Day is approaching and many of you are familiar with The Bottomless Heart I designed a couple of years ago. That is the first card in my shop for Valentines Day but can be given for other occasions as well such as anniversary, birthday or just because. 

I made some changes from the original design which are more simplistic. It still features the story line behind the design of the heart which is your expression of love and time shared together, with the one you love.

Here is a photo of the card's front. Please visit my Etsy Shop to see the rest.

  

A LOT Of Thinking

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about many different things. Some of it making me very angry, some making me think even more, some giving me feelings of despair, and some giving me answers. 

Early in my life, I had been taught to take responsibility for what I do and I have done that for the most part. I am far from being anywhere near perfect and I acknowledge that. I have made many mistakes that I take the blame for. I hurt when I hurt others.

When others make mistakes that affect me, I try to remember that they too are human and mistakes happen. But when the same types of mistakes happen on a consistent basis I have a problem with that. I know we are suppose to forgive, but the Lord knows I have trouble with consistent mistakes. When and where is the line drawn? I know too we are to forgive at all times.

In this skin that is humanity, it is very difficult...all too easy to hate those that do these things to us. But in the end, it is I who will suffer because of not forgiving. I will be the one whose bones will ache and drawn into a state of depression and despair. It is my mind that will be filled with bitterness that is best used for the betterment of my life and for those around me while they that choose to live a life of doing what they do continue to do what they do, whether knowingly or not. 

The importance of forgiving is just that...very important. The effects of harboring unforgiving thoughts is far more damaging than one can imagine. It has no benefits that will be good for me. 

I am really struggling at the moment and I know I need to turn this around. I need to stop looking at what has happened over the past few years and move on. I have a lot of positive things going on and I am thankful for that.

Humility is hard to swallow. Perfection was given only to the one true God and He said that we are to forgive because He knows that if we don't...it is we who will suffer...and we are to leave the rest to Him. 

The Ending

June 1st marks the ending of the first six months of 2012. Thinking ahead....I wonder what all of those superstitious people are gonna do about next year.....anyway, my mind goes to all of the resolutions that have been broken or never made it out of the gate. It's been awhile since I've done the resolution things....very long time.


I penned the poster below November 12, 2011. I'd have to do a little more digging to see when it was first published on my blog or my CafePress website. It may sound cliche but I do get inspired when I read it. I wrote it in a way that whoever reads this, can apply it to themselves....the question at the end?....I ask myself, what have I done since the last time I read it. Sometimes I am so angry with me because I've missed easy ops, but I know there are more doors ahead. There are times when I muster a smile or two just knowing I am able to even try to pursue dreams. I frustrate myself by trying to do too much at one time....multi-multitasking. I love it when I get that giddy feeling.


I'm more determined than ever to reach for goals, achieve them and reach for more. I'm not going to wait until the beginning of the year to start my new year. Right now I feel as if I'm making that turn....you know the feeling....you've been on THAT road for such a long time you can tell that the scenery is starting to change. It's such a good feeling.


I did edit the wording on this new poster...I took out the words "have to" on the third line and replaced them with the word "can" and did a little realignment with the rest.

I'm going to be posting pictures in a couple of weeks and I would very much  your advice, opinion, input. I'm going to have a few small giveaways during the month of June so it would be a good idea to tell your friends to like my Facebook page. That's a few of what's up and coming....gonna ride this wave as far as it will take me.


If you'd like to see this in a different flavor you can go here.
  

Rain Storms

A popup rain storm is one that is not predicted by the weather personnel. When the conditions are right, they just appear. The lightning strikes, the thunder, the high winds and of course the rain.


Yes storms can do damage that can be costly, but they can also be beneficial. Breaking lose dead tree branches, clearing the air of pollen and pollution. 


When the storm is over and the damages are assessed, it can't be denied that everything looks cleaner, refreshing and you can smell it in the air. 


I guess it can be said that storms in our lives serve the same purpose even if we don't see it that way. It is not pleasant to be caught in a rain storm without shelter of any kind and the same can be said for the storms that develop in our lives. But how can anyone deny that once our life storm passes, we feel refreshed and stronger....triumphant. 


Do I welcome or seek these storms into my life?....no way! But I cannot deny that it is a good feeling when all is said and done. 

On Moving Day

There is not much to say about the time between my last day at work up until now but I will bring you up to speed. I'll start with moving day. Samuel just love trucks so when he had a chance to sit behind the wheel of the moving truck, he wasn't about to past that up.

ok....i got this!

hmmm this might be a tight turn...

The move itself took much longer than I thought it would and longer than it really should have. Yes we were two families moving to two different locations but we had more stuff coming here that I remember having.

We took our time and moved in what was supposed to be two days, but dragged into four....don't ask. Boxes were moved, unpacked, shoved to one side, moved to another, stacked and re-stacked. 

Things slowly began to come together. Reg took care of his room pretty quick and I didn't mind taking care of the rest; so while TheWife worked I concentrated on getting key areas (kitchen, living room, bedroom, and bath) set up so each room had a spot that could be used as everything else was put together. We finally got a chance to really attack the living room and get the love seat off of the couch....I had to stack them because it was so tight in here.

That time spanned the last week in March and a little less than two weeks into April. That's basically the move in a nutshell. I'm not sure what I'll have next. Until then.....WhatrUWorkinOn?   

It's About Time

I think it's about time to let you in on what has been going on in my life these past few months. It took a lot of prayer and searching within to make the major decision that took place in January. I talked to TheWife and Reg and we all agreed that it could be done. 


So in January I gave my two weeks notice with a company I had been with for 5 1/2 years, but an occupation I have been doing for the past 35 years. I believe I had mentioned in a previous post or two how over the years my income was depreciating. Like many big businesses, it was becoming customary that employees get paid by production. It's not like I remember back in the day when raises were awarded yearly. I do understand that times change and companies have to restructure in order to stay afloat, but it was becoming more difficult for me to adhere to the fact I had to work harder and harder as I grew older and the wear and tear began to take its toll on my body. Sure I could have stuck it out for many more years, but my speed was becoming an issue which played a part in my income. 


If you're not aware of the work I am talking about....it's auto glass replacement. I remember when I first got into this type of work. I was originally a warehouse driver for a auto glass distributor.....that was in 1977. At the location where I was employed, they also had a retail shop for installations. Customers would bring there cars in to have broken windshields, door glasses and back glasses replaced. On a daily basis I walked past these cars and the guys working on them. I was fascinated at how complicated it looked but also amazed at how they got it done. They would prod me often about getting into that line of work but I would always refuse.


I was in my early twenties at the time and started thinking about the future and what I would do to support the family TheWife and I talked about. I began to see how becoming an installer (what we were called back then) would be beneficial to me and my future. 


A guy by the name of Tom K. trained me. He was a top notch installer and everybody had a lot of respect for him and his quality of work. That rubbed off on me big time. I was gradually becoming a mirrored imaged in the quality of training given to me by Tom. Speed wasn't important to me but quickly became a factor in the changing times. So I stepped it up quite a bit and the years of that and the decrease in pay was too much for me to deal with anymore.


I have to admit this wasn't the only driving force to have a part in my decision to quit, but it was major.


So what's in store for the future?.....stay tuned.....

I Have Sons Too

There have been so many events that have taken our breath way over time...far too many. And this latest concerning the death of young Trayvon Martin is beyond shocking to put it politely. 


When I saw the first picture of Trayvon, my first thought was how young he looked for his age and second how small his body frame was. A few hours ago, Trayvon's parents were being interviewed on TV...sorry don't remember with who...and his father described what the police told him...after showing him a picture of his dead son...concerning the events that lead to the death of his son.


He was told that after Zimmerman, the security guard who was told by the police not to follow the guy, met up with Trayvon and after a scuffle, Trayvon was "straddled over Zimmerman with his hand over Zimmerman's mouth". Then Zimmerman was able to draw his weapon and fire one shot..."Trayvon put his hands in the air and said 'you got me' ", and fell back...dead or dying. Shot by someone who shouldn't have been there.


What was it that made Zimmerman want to pursue after Trayvon when he as clearly told not to. Why didn't that same instinct or whatever drove Zimmerman to the point of contact....upon that contact, without even knowing his true age, say to himself...even without gut instinct...say to himself....this is just a kid. Even if Trayvon had said something undesirable to Zimmerman....Trayvon looks like a kid and should have been handled accordingly. But apparently, Zimmerman never caught that.


It is a travesty when we are profiled/judged because of what we wear or how we look. Now I'll be the first to tell you that I'm not big on the pants around the ankles and waddling like a duck when you walk, but I do know that what I see is not necessarily the person. I like to wear a hoodie but don't usually wear the hood unless I'm shielding myself from the cold. 


Why am I all of a sudden on a tandem about anything? I have had changes in the past couple of months and just these past few weeks have been even more changes....then this happens....it struck a nerve. It happened at a time when I can no longer be silent.  


There was a moment in time, when someone didn't listen, and a young Trayvon Martin was shot and died. 


I have sons too... 

  

Sitting Here Thinking

A thought just came to me....actually there were many....but this one I like.

Taking time to break the routine...as if I really had one. But it's giving me time to see other things...some unseen in that way for a time now. I also feel as if I'm beginning to "know" the area.

I have so much to say and do in the upcoming weeks. I have been a bit flustered of late but again, I believe that break in routine gives different light...casting light on other perspectives that opens other answers.

Spring is in the air and change is on the horizon.

My Sincere Apologies

I would like to take this time to give my sincere apologies to those who took the time to read and comment on my poem If Time Did Stop. I had received an email of another comment and when I went to reply, I noticed my previous comments and replies were gone. I went to my dashboard and there were no signs that they were ever there.


I had been using Intensedebate because of the threaded comment and reply format. But after the loss of the comments and replies and since Blogger has implemented their change in the comments I find necessary to make the change. 


I'm not bashing Intensedebate because I'm sure there are many satisfied users out there. Like any software, glitches do happen.


Again, my sincere apologies to those who did read and comment. 

What Is The Right Thing To Do?

Our internet service went down last night and was restored a couple of hours ago. After the restoration, I really noticed how much email I had accumulated and decided to clean house. While going through my two major accounts it came very clear to me how different things are for me right now. One of the accounts showed me how much I had strayed away from poetry and the online friends I was beginning to become acquainted with. Not only that but a couple of blogs I was reading on a regular basis.


As I continued through the old mail, the dates brought to mind what I had already remembered long before starting this venture. The 1 year anniversary of my oldest brother's passing. I called my mom and talked to her for awhile and that made me remember even more how much I miss him. It was good to hear my mom's voice...still strong in my ear....realizing how much I miss her too.


Events in life never stop...they keep coming. How they affect us and how we choose to deal with them rest solely on our individual shoulders. Deleting those old emails did bring back memories but they also triggered a need....no....a desire to restore what I miss about me. Even though you may not have heard from me as much as before, I have not been idle. Changes have been taking place and the journey continues.


Eliminating that which hinders us sometimes may not seem the right thing to do in the eyes of others, but others don't have to live our lives. Remembering is not always a good thing, but forgetting can sometimes be the wrong thing to do. How we handle these rest solely on our individual shoulders.


Time doesn't stop, events continue to happen and changes do take their place. We must also take our spot and do what is right for us...even if others may think it foolish...they do not live our lives...and we don't live theirs. 


Making decisions are all a part of the journey and they have to be made...good or bad, right or wrong. 

Let Me Explain: Part 2

Difficulties in life can weigh heavily on the mind, body, spirit, and soul of anyone. For me it has been to the point of emotional drainage. Dealing with these and coming to grips has undoubtedly taken its toll but has not destroyed me although at times I have felt as if they have. 


I have always been a firm believer in God although I have not been in His presence the way I once was and I'm sure that is one reason for my present state of being. Prayer has made its way back into my life and is making a big difference. 


Many years ago when I was a member of New Life Worship Center, I prayed oh so many times about my marriage and how I so desired to have a loving relationship with TheWife again. When we first met, things were everything I wanted in a relationship, but that changed after we got married. We still had good times and I'm sure many can relate how changes take place after years of being together, but I also know that this in not the norm in many cases. Many people knew of my dilemma and I'm sure countless prayers went out on our behalf. 


I am an emotional, caring and sensitive person. Passion is strong in my being. I so desired to have these a part of my marriage but it was not to be and I wondered if I would ever rekindle these in the marriage. I tried talking and doing whatever I could to have my prayers answered because I knew that praying alone would not bring this to fruition. After years of emptiness I gave up and realized I was not going to have the answer I was seeking. I was bitter. Not at God, because I knew that all prayer does not bring the answer we are looking for. I was bitter at TheWife. I wondered why she chose to take the route she did in not trying to keep any kind of passion between us. I was truly perplexed. What puzzled me during our time in church was the fact that she began to give me the impression that because we were in church, it was wrong to have sexual thoughts and desires. For example, if we were watching a movie that had sex scenes, she would make comments about how disgusting it was....what?! I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I talked to her countless times but without success. It was as if she felt because she was in church it was taboo to even think that way. Sure we had what she thought was sex every now and again but far from what even came close to satisfying my needs. After awhile I felt it was pointless and made me feel even more despondent. 


I know that it is not unusual for some people to lose there sex drive but I don't feel that was the case here. My thoughts were and still are today that she just didn't want to have sex with me, she kept me at arms length so as NOT to have that in our marriage. Why? I have a few guesses as to why (maybe in part 3?). 


I can't remember the last time we had a long passionate kiss or loving embrace. My heart weighs heavy and I'm sure you may be wondering why in the world would I stay in a situation like this and I wonder also.


When we got back together, I thought things would be better than they were before and that we would have a relationship that would resemble anything close to what I dream of. She seems to be content with the way things are and would be happy to have a sexless, passionless life together. I'm far from being dead in body, mind, spirit and desires of the heart. I want and need to have the touch of a woman that would take my breath away. I long to have my ear nibbled. I want to have a woman's hand to momentarily stroke or squeeze my butt to let me know that I still have it goin' on. When I look in the mirror I see a man... a real man....not out of shape. Sure I've aged but at almost 58 years old, still desirable.


I'm not bitter at God, but I have asked...why Lord? What have I done to deserve this emptiness?


I'm sure you can tell in my comments lately concerning TheWife that I'm not happy and I seem to be bashing her but I also know that it is and has been up to me to do something about it. Saying that, I have to say this....because I believe in God, I also believe in the vows I took when I got married. I believe in family. But I also believe I deserve better because I gave my all.


Is this what I get for being such a caring person?....


I know some of you say...fool...what are you still doing there? I have asked that same question. 


Lord, I know you are able to change anything and I also know that sometimes the answer is no....what to do....what to do.         

Refreshed

This is what it kinda feels like right now. I had talks with I believe are some key people very recently. I was able to be candid and straight forward. I couldn't believe how much better I felt when I was finished after each conversation.

Apparently this was long overdue. 

I don't know what the end result will be when all is said and done, but what I do know....I feel as if I can now really move forward....no matter what happens.  

I have my sights set on other key changes/additions that I am sure will help to bring me to a state of even more stability and the want to continue in a positive direction.

Are you still with me?......I sure hope so.

Back To Basics

After realizing I'm putting myself through more than needed right now, I have decided to get back to basics. I'm going to discontinue the meme and concentrate on what I do....just be me. Maybe some place down the road I will revive the meme on a monthly basis, but now I must concentrate on what is at hand.


I'm not as far ahead as I would like to be designing my T-shirts and other products, but I am making progress.

~~~~~~~~~

  

I finally retrieved the pictures from my camera which means I can finally share them. 

~~~~~~~~~

Time management is my biggest problem right now. I have time to get things done but in the end, I'm out of time with little done in certain areas. Once I get that in order things should be getting easier and less stressful for me.

~~~~~~~~~

I can't believe I went this long without posting something. This won't happen again.

Off The Cuff

Hey!...did I tell ya how much I like my new template? I'm sure you've seen it around, it took me awhile to change because I liked the lighthouse on the other template, but I was limited with what I could edit so it was time for a new look. 


I'll probably mess around with the fonts and see what may catch my eye.


What else...I had something but turned to catch the news for a minute and blew the thought away...don't you hate when that happens?


So now I'm sitting here trying to remember and making it worse....don't you hate when THAT happens?


OK...I'm done with that one. 


I'm off this weekend and not sure what I'm gonna be doing other than catching up and finishing up and opening new doors. I'm starting to have fun again....I remember!...I was gonna say it has been too long since I had done a post on TheGrands, so be looking for that soon....they keep me young.


Well I'm getting tired and I'm gonna just start to babble...by the way...

thanks for stopping in

I'm Beside Myself

I have missed two consecutive weeks of not posting my WhatrUWorkinOn meme. I have pretty much destroyed my 30 day blog challenge. I'm in, I'm out. I'm hot, I'm cold. 


I'm driving myself crazy trying to stay consistent, or to even come close to resembling someone who means what he says. At times I feel as if I have given up...but I'm not a quitter. 


I want to bury my head in the sand to avoid whatever it is that hangs over me. I want to soak up the sunshine and walk in cool grass as the blades slice between my toes.


I want to take my fists and pound them into a wall until it begins to crumble before me or until my hands are bloodied or broken. I want to hear the sound of the sea's waves washing onto the beach or splashing against the rocks.


This is such a sad state to be in...I'm tired of it and I'm sure you are not enjoying this yourself....what to do...what to do.


I guess I'll have to keep plugging away and striving forward...I mean, this can't last much longer...could it?


Anybody out there want to do a trade off? Just kidding....I wouldn't wish this on anyone. 


It's not ALL bad. I do have continued chances to turn this around....I wake up everyday and I'm thankful for that.

It Was Weird

I was at a drive-thru waiting to put my order in and at the same time trying to figure out why the van is rocking as if someone was pushing it. I looked into my mirrors to see if anyone was there and then looked at the trees and thought that it wasn't that windy because they were hardly moving. It seemed to happen two separate times because I remember thinking that it had stopped and found myself looking into the mirrors and at the trees again.


I thought that was weird and proceeded on my way. It wasn't until after my next stop that I was told that there had been an earthquake and they had just returned to the building moments before I arrived. Then I felt so different when I realized that it was an earthquake...it was like, wow!


Cell phone service was down for a bit...I couldn't retrieve voice mail. I guess it was a big thing for the area. It's been over 100 years since the last one. That's a track record I can live with.

Here I Go

So begins my second 30 day blog challenge. My first challenge was back in November 2010. This was the first post of that challenge, Who I Am. I read it twice before linking because it took me back to how confident I was when writing that. I remember the strong sense of accomplishment as I wrote. It also reminded me of how I lost focus. I had vision...I had drive...I was ambitious...


A lot has happened since then. My brother passed away. TheWife and I got back together (a work in progress). Some financial difficulties and a host of unnamed incidences. 


I'm looking forward to rising from the ruins of despair. 

Challenges

A thought just came to me concerning challenges...several thoughts actually. 


Sometimes we seem to feel we are challenged and in some cases we are put on the defensive because we may feel it was unjust, creating emotions built on anger.


There are times when stuff pops up when we least expect it and that could cause anxiety...which in turn will bring thoughts that are not quite clear because we don't have the desire to deal with anything.


Then there are challenges that push us...make us work, think, have that feeling of accomplishment. 


So what are the underlying factors behind challenges? Are they tests? Do they come to consume ones very being? Are they meant to build?...or destroy. 


Challenges come in all facets through life. We cannot avoid them. One thing they can do at times... frustrate. But I believe in the long run, that builds character.


My vote goes to challenges being an integral part of life unavoidable....like it or not...and whether I like them or not, they teach me and I learn and from that comes growth.


I guess it's all in how you look at it.


Whatr U Workin On?